Skip the roses for this one
Happy day after Valentine's Day!
My wife and I aren’t too enthusiastic about the festivities of Saint Valentine’s Day, and I’d admit that’s mostly my fault.
On February 13th, nine years ago, I took her out on our first date.
I deliberately selected that day because I didn’t want our first date to coincide with a day when half of Canada's population is out celebrating, six million American couples are getting engaged, and two out of every five individuals across 28 countries are enjoying a romantic night out.
That’s just too many people to compete with for date night venues and restaurant bookings when we celebrate the anniversary of our first date.
It’s like being born on Christmas Day or getting married on your spouse’s birthday. One celebration is always going to trump the other.
However, nine years later, the long-term effect of my decision is that February 14 has lost some, if not all, of its relevance in our household. We’d rather spend the day before celebrating love than doing anything remotely special on the day of.
But I plan on changing that in some ways by using that day to be more appreciative of the non-romantic relationships that I’ve been blessed with. In particular, this year, I’m especially grateful for my clients.
In previous letters, I’ve written about how privileged I am to collaborate with individuals who are willing to share their stories, experiences, and insights with me. And no matter how long I do this work, I never lose sight of that reality.
That said, in recent weeks, I’ve been contemplative about the extent of grace I need to offer when working with clients.
On one hand, given the nature of my projects, I get to spend so much time with clients and get to know them on a deeper level. I can’t help but empathize with them, cheer them on, and want to be there for them.
While in the middle of projects, some clients have gone through nasty divorces, lost loved ones, or battled with life-threatening, debilitating, chronic diseases. Others have found love, rekindled relationships with estranged family members, or completely reinvented themselves during the period that we worked together.
In each of those cases, I was privy to the details of their experiences and offered support, sometimes more than I could afford.
On the other hand, I recognize that these are business relationships. I have to respect the different personalities, perspectives, and modes of operations in which these individuals approach their projects but do so with my business being top of mind.
And therein lies the reason for my contemplation.
For as much space as I’ve been privileged to hold in the hearts of my clients, the work cannot be undermined. Deadlines need to be met. The job has to be done.
Yesterday's celebration of love was a gentle reminder that it is possible to navigate this delicate terrain with understanding and kindness. Instead of overthinking how I strike the balance between empathy and professionalism, I ought to spend more time letting love lead.
In light of that, I’ve resolved to pray for my clients, their well-being, and their ability to stay the course no matter what life throws at them during our relationship and work, just like I would pray for myself or a loved one daily. That’s the least I can do to show love and gratitude to a group of people who’ve decided to trust me with their stories.
I’m no longer questioning how much grace needs to be afforded in these relationships. I’m choosing to give grace where it’s due and be grateful for the relationships I have while I have them.
February 14th is made out to be all about courtly love and self-love. While I believe those two expressions are important (and glad that florists, restaurants, jewelers, bakeries, candy stores, card shops, and other retailers get to benefit from a boost in sales during this period), I’m convinced that this season of love is also an opportunity to be grateful for and extend grace to the people around us who make our personal and professional lives that much more meaningful.
Be it a client, a colleague, a staff member, or the barista who serves you coffee every morning on your way to work, take a moment this month to express your appreciation for their presence and contributions.
You can skip the roses for this one. A simple thank you note, a small gesture of kindness, or even just a heartfelt conversation can go a long way in strengthening relationships and fostering a positive work environment.
With that said, thank you (yes, you reading this). I appreciate you.
Recently:
My wife and I released the first episode of the second season of our podcast, where we continue our weekly banter about work. You can listen to it here.