Can you? or Can you not?
A few years ago, I wrote a book for a therapist who, without a doubt, has one of the most brilliant minds I have ever come across.
Their book and, by extension, their work focuses on helping patients to dissociate, disidentify, and disengage themselves from people, places, and experiences that are chaotic and trauma-inducing.
To help patients do this, they developed and proposed therapeutic strategies that were mostly based on the life of Jesus Christ, who seemingly lived a stress-free life despite being surrounded by stressful events. Some of the other strategies were based on Neo from the movie, The Matrix. But this is beside the point.
I remember being amazed and thrilled by every little dose of insight and information the therapist shared as we worked on their book.
As far as I was concerned, the work we were doing was for the good of humanity.
This therapist had somehow found a surefire way to help people who had experienced adverse childhood events or those who were reeling from significantly chaotic life experiences. They had figured out a way for human beings to move past trauma and avoid being easily traumatized or getting into situations that can induce trauma.
Or so I thought until certain events happened in the therapist’s life that caused them to go MIA and momentarily step away from the project.
At first, I didn’t understand what was going on and why they didn’t seem to want to continue working on the project. But soon, I realized that they had just experienced some unfortunate, traumatic events of their own, and despite being a proponent of dissociating, disidentifying, and disengaging themselves from trauma-inducing situations, they couldn't do it.
They couldn’t apply their own therapeutic strategies.
Alas, this superperson with the most brilliant mind and incredible theories was human. And alas, they couldn’t.
Like all human beings, at some point, they simply couldn’t.
I am privileged to be in a position where I get to listen to some of the most intelligent minds with unique life experiences, mind-blowing insights, and profound knowledge and help them articulate their words into books.
Yet, with each passing day and interaction, I am reminded that even the best among us can only be and do so much. Even the leader needs to be led, the expert needs an expert, and the therapist needs therapy.
No one has it all figured out.
My life revolves around books. At the point where I am today, no day of my life goes by without me writing or reading from a book or having a conversation about writing or reading a book.
I love books because they capture the purest form of the human experience and the highest form of human intelligence. But no matter how many books are written by and about humans, no book (with the exception of the Bible, perhaps) has it all figured out.
Although this might sound perplexing, I actually find comfort in knowing that the answers to everything aren’t in one person’s mind or in one human source.
The fact that nobody has it all figured out is liberating. It means that we can push and stretch ourselves as far as our limits can go.
It should make us want to see how much we can figure out until we no longer can. It should make you go until you can’t go anymore. It should make you go from “I can” to “I couldn’t.”
And this is a good thing because it would mean you tried and tried until you either succeeded or couldn’t try again. It would mean you acknowledged your limits only when you reached them.
Here’s to embracing our weaknesses as we discover them.
— Oh, and by the way, the therapist’s book was never published. Their therapeutic strategies needed to be reworked.
Recently:
I was spotlighted as the ‘member of the month’ by the only association of ghostwriters in the world. I don’t know what it means to be a member of the month, but it sounds cool.
I shared about a different kind of limit (knowing when to leave) on my weekly podcast. If you’re interested, you can listen or watch when you get a chance.
I was once again convinced that Harlan Coben is walking so I can run one day. His psychological thriller collection on Netflix, with the latest addition, Fool Me Once, inspires me to keep going.